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Your Opinion Counts - Survey Results

Dear Kids:

Thank you for sharing with us about telling your friends you were adopted. Most of you (83%) said your good friends know. And 90% of kids whose good friends know told the friends themselves. The others kids' parents told the friends.

17% of the kids who answered said their good friends don't know. They were concerned that their friends might make fun of them, that it might make things awkward, or they just felt it wasn't anybody's business.

Here are some of the things you told us:

Friends Said:

"Cool, you have two families!"

"You are? You are lying!"

"Oh really? You look so much like your mom I didn't know that."

"Well that is great that you feel great and you have a new family. But I feel sorry for the other kids that do not get adopted."

Just asked ?s and thought it was cool.

Nothing. It didn't matter.

Here's what you told us about your friends…

They basically accepted me for who I am, because as you get older people rarely care about your background, culture, race, religion, etc… Besides, as far as I'm concerned, if they can't accept me for who I really am, then why should I bother wasting my time[with them]?

They asked me tons of questions, questions that I hear every time a person learns that I am adopted. They are afraid to ask because they think I will burst out in tears or something similar. It seems very strange to them, like they can't really picture themselves in the same situation…. I am proud and happy of being adopted, and I don't mind talking about it, as long as the questions people ask me are reasonable. And mostly they are.

At first some of them didn't believe me, but when I showed them a picture they did believe me. Then they started asking all these questions.

My friends were shocked; some of them treated me differently. Not all of them. And some were happy for me.

Some felt mad I didn't tell them sooner, others understood.

My friends say very cool and different culture for them and great experience for them.

I didn't tell all my good friends. I only told my best friend and one of my good friends in school. That was it. And my best friend I grew up with so she always knew. Since my mom told her mom when we were really little. And my friend at school, I just told her one day I was adopted…. (And we never talked about it again.)

They said that they kinda thought so because I was black and my parents were white.

They already knew, because I am black and my mom is white, but I told them so they would understand.

Most of my friends think it's cool. Some of my friends feel sorry for me but I don't. My family is tight!.

When your friends are curious about adoption and you are not sure how to handle it, remember that you don't have to answer any question that someone asks you. If you don't feel comfortable answering, you can tell your friend that you don't feel like talking about that. Or try one of these approaches

- " Ask them a question, such as "Why do you want to know?"

- " Use humor. "Is he my real dad? No, I made him up."

- " Change the subject "

- Educate or explain. "Do you know how many kids in the U.S. are adopted? 1.6 million."

More ideas to try »