When friends find out that you were adopted they may feel curious, uncomfortable, happy for you, surprised, or even left out. Friends usually ask a lot of questions. And even though you have heard those questions a hundred times, they may be new ideas for your friends.

Being adopted is nothing to hide or feel ashamed of. But it is something you may feel private about, and that's all right. You may want to share personal information only with those you really trust.

When you're not sure how to handle your friends' curiosity, here are some ideas to try:

• Talk to your parents. Even if they don't have any new ideas, just talking about a problem can help you feel better. It's also O.K. to let your folks know that you'd like to be the one to tell people you were adopted-- when you feel ready.
  
  
• Visit the Adoption Talk section of Adoption Clubhouse. Click here to go there now and learn some new ways to talk about adoption and answer annoying questions.
  
  
• Your friends may need educating, but you don't have to be the one to do it all. Invite your friends to visit www.adoptionclubhouse.org and find the answers to some of their own questions.
  
  
• Practice role-playing with one of your parents or a brother or sister. Ask them to pretend to be you. You pretend to be your friends and ask annoying questions about adoption. Your parent or sibling will come up with answers you might not think of yourself. After role-playing, you will be much more comfortable and prepared the next time you are in the real situation.
  
  
• When your friends hurt your feelings, let them know. Try using "I" messages. In an "I" message, the focus is on how you feel-"I feel… (hurt, sad, anxious, etc.)" rather than on judging your friends. Then explain why you feel the way you do.